I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
