my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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