take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
