I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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