No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Randomize
