just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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