yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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