I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
so let's talk penis.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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