i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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