I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
