She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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