So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
