Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
My vagina just clenched in fear
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
