That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
