he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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