I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I skipped work to stalk him.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
