those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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