Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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