you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
