i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
