You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
