Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
