I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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