This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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