I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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