Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
