i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
