She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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