p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
