if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Randomize
