Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Randomize
