Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
