She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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