Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
