Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
