I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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