You made me cry and you don't even care
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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