Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
