Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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