You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
that's an acceptable place to lick
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
