I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
