what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
