So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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