Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
