didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
