We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
