We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
