pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Randomize
