she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I don't deserve a penis
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
