We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
