If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
