So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
there is glitter all over my balls
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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