how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
