I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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