he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
it glows. i had to have it.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
