in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
