Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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