so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
