your thong is hanging out like whoa
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
